Real Life

Other than a strong let-down feeling, I've been doing pretty good this week. Last night was the first time in over a week I didn't cry in the shower. I find that to be the time I'm alone with my thoughts and by myself where I can just let it go.
Monday I got up and got Lily off to school. Cedric was watching TV and Jeff was still asleep and I wanted so bad to just go back to bed. However, I made myself stay up and get stuff done (I felt very behind after not being around for a week). I'm glad I did as it was a good day. At least good as in how I was feeling.
Yesterday I had preschool so despite both my boys still being asleep when Lily left I couldn't go back to bed. I did sneak away for a 45 minute nap that afternoon while Jeff and Lily were at school and Cedric was busy playing computer games. Lily has been pretty moody though and that doesn't help. I had my best day yet with preschool, I took Lily to piano lessons and the boys to get hair cuts, so I felt like I got some adult social bonding in. And Chick-Fil-A was providing free dinner if you donated money to the kids school. I haven't had to make dinner in over a week, so tonight I've decided to make my favorite, potato cheese soup as a re-introduction into cooking dinner again. Yesterday was a good day too.
Today, however, has been hard. I did go back to bed after Lily left and even though the boys were up, they let me sleep until 9:45. I have nothing to look forward to today. The forced momentum is fading. I haven't talked to anyone in my family since Sunday, which normally isn't odd, but after being together everyday last week it's been harder. I read my sister's blog which was the straw that brought the tears coming again (she has blogged everyday since the accident and it's been a nice overview of what's been going on). Cedric was sweet though, he came over and gave me his biggest cheesiest smile and it did make me laugh.
I know I'll continue to have my ups and downs. The next few nights I have fun plans with different groups of friends, so that will help to have those to look forward to. I have been so grateful for friends during this time. It has really been a strenghth for me to have people I can depend on and who love and care for me. Thank you friends!