Done

I remember when I was pregnant with Lily and people would ask if I felt "done" being pregnant.  Honestly, I never really felt that way with her.  First of all, she was my smallest baby, second, she came ten days early, third, I was in my early twenties.  So I guess I never really got to that "done" point.  With Jeff, again he came over a week early, but he was a much bigger baby.  I don't remember if I felt "done" or not with him.  Then Cedric came along.  The doctor told me I'd go early, but with just three days until my due date I was still pregnant.  I remember that last week feeling so long as I was pregnant a week longer with Cedric than I had been with my other two.  I was "done".  He did come early, but only by two days.  Now we come to our fourth child.  I don't know if it's the fact that I'm older, I'm taking care of three other kids, or the deadlines of Christmas and returning back to work right after the new year loom so close, but I have been "done" for a while with this pregnancy.
Today has been a hard day.  I'm again three days away from my due date and no sign of any baby.  I have felt very depressed today.  I've missed my mom a lot today too, which hasn't helped.  I have nothing to motivate me or to look forward to in the next few days.  Last week I took advantage of things and got a lot done.  This week, I don't want to do anything... except have a baby.
I talked to my doctor on Friday about options if I go passed my due date.  He said I could be induced but it would increase my chance of uterine rupturing from a 1/2 to a 1% chance (since I had had a C-section with Lily).  I could also do another C-section, but there are always risks to that too.  He told me to come in early next week (which will be tomorrow) and we could schedule something then.  However, I have thought a lot about this.  At first I was excited there could be an end in sight, but the more I thought about it, the less I felt good about it.  I decided I am going to tell him that I do not want to be induced and I'd rather let nature take it's course.  Once I made this decision I felt so much more at peace.  Yes, that means I could have a Christmas baby.  Yes, that means I could be returning to work with a one-week-old.  But I also know that I needed more faith and to trust the Lord on this one.  He knows our circumstance and I know we can make whatever happens work.  So we just go back to the waiting game.
However, I'm not doing so well.  I still worry about her being born too close to Christmas.  I worry about her being too big, I worry about returning to work too early (see, I told you I need more faith).  And on top of that my body is so miserable!  I can't sleep, I can't walk, I can't bend over, I can't deal with my own responsibility's or kids like normal, I can't even sit without some sort of pain or annoyance accompanying it (even right now she is wiggling so much it's sending sharp pains down my legs and into my back).
Yet, I also realize that this is most likely our last baby and as hard as it is to believe now, I know I'll miss being pregnant.  I'll miss feeling her little movements, hearing her heart beat, just being excited to meet her.  I have truly been blessed with successful pregnancies so far with all our babies.  I am still in awe with the miracle of these children I get to bare.  I am so blessed that I can have this experience, even though it is hard at times.
As much as I don't want a Christmas baby, I've enjoyed being pregnant this time of year.  It's made me appreciate the sacrifice Mary went through as she dealt with the uncomfortable parts of pregnancy and labor as she rode a top a donkey for miles.  Just to end up in a stinky stable as the birthing place of her son.  It humbles me to think of her situation, even though she was baring the Savior, she did not have an ideal situation.
I've been thinking a lot about my mom.  Yesterday marked three months since we lost her.  I was watching Cedric's baby video and my mom is the one video taping, so you can hear her, but can't see her in the movie.  I found this very significant since we won't be able to see or hear her this time.  But I hope I can feel her, since I know she'll be there.  In fact, it's been fun to say that she's the reason the baby's not here yet. I can just picture my mom and daughter trying to say good-bye, but Mom is too busy telling her all about us here.  she's probably so excited for this granddaughter to come that she's having a hard time finishing her good-byes and sending her off.  I hope it's true.  That this little girl will be fresh from my mom's arms.  I like to tell myself that's what's going on as it gives me comfort and excitement as we wait.
So we continue to wonder, when will she come, how, what will she look like, etc.  I am excited for when the day finally arrives.  And hey, one things for sure... each day we are closer to her birth day, we just don't know how much closer.

Funny Kid Anecdotes

Sunday night Jeff came down with a stomach bug.  He was complaining of being cold and so we turned the fireplace on.  Next thing I know I find him like this...

 He had fallen sound asleep in front of the fire (it looks like he's waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve).  The hard thing was it was only 6pm, but since he was sick we just put him to bed.  

Then around 8pm Cedric climbed in Tom's lap while he was watching football and next thing you know he was asleep too...

 I was thinking this was a great night as two of the three kids were already asleep and we didn't even have to go through the usual bedtime routine!  

However, right after Cedric fell asleep, Jeff woke up after his two hour "nap".  He said he wanted to eat something, so he had some crackers and apple sauce, but was now wide awake.  Of course, he wasn't done being sick and so we were still able to get him to bed by about 9:30 and he fell back asleep just fine.  

I was worried that we were starting a round of another illness in our home right before the baby comes, but so far no one else got Jeff's stomach bug and it only lasted about 12 hours with him.

We are all so anxious for this baby to come!  Cedric loves giving her hugs... 

We finally got the boys all moved into different rooms and the nursery is almost ready.  I even found the box of baby blankets I've been looking for!  Lily is always hoping she'll either wake up to or come home from school to someone else here because that means I'm at the hospital.    

Tonight at dinner Cedric was sitting across the table from me and I noticed he was doing something with his food.  I said "Cedric, what are you doing?"  And he responded as normally as if this was something he did all the time, "I'm putting mac & cheese in my foot".  Yup, that's what he was doing.  We couldn't help but all bust up laughing.

Awards

I am so proud of my kids!  This past week Lily and Jeff were each rewarded for different things at school.  Lily was honored with having a "Picnic with the Principal" for being more responsible with her work.  Jeff was honored with the "Leader of the Month" award.  He showed his leadership by putting first things first.  

Also, both of the kids did an entry in the Reflections Contest this year.  The theme was "Diversity Means..."  Jeff entered a drawing for the visual arts category called "Diversity in the Water".  He drew a bunch of different animals that need water to survive.

Lily composed a song for the music composition category.  She had originally made up the song on the bus with her friend, Mily and it was called "Best Friends".  However, she ended up composing it onto the piano, took out the lyrics and changed the title to "Friends of every Nation" to fit the theme better.  Then we went over to our neighbors house, who composes music as a profession and she used his cool equipment to record the song.  It was so cute watching Lily as she worked with him on the song.  She acted as if she was the professional! I don't know how to put the CD onto the blog, but I recorded her playing the melody to at least give you the idea.

I was quite proud of both kids and glad they made an effort.  However, I was even more excited when I received letters stating that BOTH kids were going to receive the "Award of Excellence" for their entries!  Out of 122 entries (several being in the visual arts category) they only selected five from each category for the award, and those five are the ones that move onto the next judging phase!

I decided to keep it a secret and just let them find out at the assembly on Thursday.  As Cedric and I were getting our coats on to go he asked the usual question "where are we going?"  To which I answered "Lily and Jeff's school".  With an excited look on his face he said "am I 5 now!"  He wishes so badly he could go to the big school with them.

When I asked Lily what she thought of winning at first she said she was getting mad because they never recognized her (they went through all the participation awards first).  She didn't even know I was there.  However, it was so fun to see her and Jeff as they went up to get their trophies and awards.

I am so proud of Jefferson and Lily!  Hopefully this month has helped them to be more motivated at school and in trying new things.  To quote Jeff "I'm now a professional artist!"  And when I told Lily their entries move onto the next level, she acted as though she was about to faint.  Way to go kids!
Side note:  With only 12 days left of the pregnancy I'm still here and miserable.  I did finish my last day of preschool, before the new year, on Thursday.  However, when I went to the doctor yesterday he said I haven't progressed at all.  I've been at a 1+ for almost a month!  Hopefully she comes in a week or so.  I've been trying to get over my cold I've had since Thanksgiving.  We are still trying to finish Jeff's new room so we can move Cedric to his room and turn Cedric's room into the nursery.  Also, Tom has a big deal test on Friday that he has to take for work and will be studying for all week.  So with all of that, one more week would be nice.  However, my body is done being pregnant, I'm tired of not getting any sleep, the earlier she comes the further her birthday will be from Christmas and the longer I'll have of maternity leave before I start preschool up again.  So for those reasons I'd like her to come now!  Of course, we can't choose (I can't be induced since I had Lily C-section), so she'll come when she comes.  Only time will tell.

Thanksgiving Weekend

This weekend was the big Holiday kick-off starting with Thanksgiving.  Thursday morning Tom went over to a park and played with several family and friends the annual "Turkey Bowl" flag football team.  Afterwards he put up the Christmas lights on the roof.

Meanwhile, I got things done around the house as our home was the chosen location for the big Thanksgiving feast.  This year was the smallest Thanksgiving group I've ever experienced with only a mere 11 of us.  

 We had Tom's parents, his sister, Maren and her husband, Tim at one table...

 And our family of five, plus Tom's brother, Kurtis and his friend, Wanda at the other table.

 It was a very enjoyable meal, I never get tired of eating Thanksgiving food nor hanging out with family.  

Poor Cedric was pretty sick that day with a cold/cough.  In fact, the illness subtly made its way through our whole family. 

That night Tom and several of his siblings took off around 9pm to start their Black Friday shopping.  He didn't roll in until 6:30am Friday morning!  Luckily we made a very organized list of what stores to hit and what to look for.  I felt he was pretty successful in his finds.

After Tom's short morning sleep I then took off that afternoon to do a little more shopping.  I felt really good that we accomplished so much in one day.  In fact I'd say we are 85% done with our Christmas shopping! 

That night we went to an extended family reunion/dinner with Tom's Mom's side of the family.

Saturday ended up being a very productive day.  We are trying to get the playroom switched to a bedroom for Jeff, so I went to work cleaning out some of the toy room (a lot still to do).  Tom painted the kids dressers (pictures yet to come).  Tom vacuumed out the cars.  I worked on putting baby furniture together and going through clothes (I still can't find our box with all the baby blankets in it).  We did a Costco run (although our purpose of going was in vain as they have no mattresses for sale at this time).  And of course we decorated the house for Christmas.  I hung up the inside window lights.  Lily helped set up the nativity and other decorations.

 Jeff just played games with his friend, Cedar

 Tom put up the tree as I went through the decoration box.

 Cedric had fun just being there.

 And of course that night we decorated the tree.

Today was Sunday.  However, we never made it to church since Tom and I woke up feeling the effects of our colds and with the other kids still fighting theirs we decided to stay home and have a sick day.  We were able to get some good rest.  I had fun watching "The Sound of Music" with Lily today.  We hung up the stockings, I washed some more baby clothes, and we enjoyed a nice Family Home Evening together.

Now we go back to work, school and the usual busy week.  This is my last week of preschool and with just over two weeks til my due date.  My goal is to make it through Thursday being pregnant.  However, from Friday on I am more than happy to have this baby!  Hopefully the next post I do will be about her :)